The Planehoppers

Season 1, Episode 3: Damn Kobolds!
Don't read if you are a kobold...or if you are a kobold sympathizers

Where we last left your favorite Bahamut’s Patrollers, they were about to assault a decrepit hall unflatteringly named Kobold Hall. They were going to do this because there might be a kobold strike force intending evil on the nearby town of Fallcrest…and maybe an oppurtunity to take down another evil dragon.

So Aramir reported back to the camp dwarven paladin Garfield, dragonborn fighter Zack and half-elf bard Cal was resting. As he reported the intellgence he had acqired from the scouting, Garfield and Zack paid attention in determination. Cal on the other hand was playing around with his lute trying to find a new tune. The eladrin rogue wasn’t impressed with Cal so he turned the tuning machine on the lute violently so the pitch Cal was playing changed from a bright C to a dissonant quarterstep deviant A#. Cal shouted in protest but fell on deaf ears.

After the report was made, the group agreed it would strike on the break of dawn to attain a decent degree of surprise. While it was a good plan, it had one flaw…They all slept past dawn.

Nonetheless, they were pretty annoyed with each others than themselves but proceeded with the assault anyway. Garfield, the paladin, insisted they come in through the front door while Aramir, the rogue, insisted on the back. Before any significant and noisy fighting can occur outside the structure they were allegedly going to take down, Cal took out a coin and told them to call it in the air. Garfield won to Aramir’s annoyance.

Not to soon after the coin landed, Zack kicked down the door and ran into the first room followed by the others. They found one lone kobold who looked confident with himself. Zack growled and ran straight for the kobold with the intention of decapitating his sorry head. But out of nowhere a shot from a previously closed door got Zack in the left ankle sticking it to the right one. Cal immidiately shouted warning that there was another kobold with glueshots in his sling.

Zack, off-balanced, almost fell down to a pit of green sludge but instead only was knocked prone by the side of it. This pit was 10-feet-deep and looked acidic with sickening green pain waiting for anyone with the unfortunate luck of splashing into it.

Aramir immediately drew his longbow and shot at the kobold slinger. When the arrow hit it’s target three more kobolds appear from another previously closed room. The lone kobold from before smirked as he took a dagger to Zack trying to penetrate his scale mail.

As the kobold did this, Cal took out his lute and tried using his arcane music to support the party but instead got a horrible dissonant strain that confused the enemy! Turns out Cal never retuned his lute after Aramir had messed with it. The dissonant quarterstep deviant A#, horrible C and clear E notes knotted the kobold’s thinking and it allowed Zack to push him off into the acidic pit, eliminating the kobold.

While Zack tried to untangle his ankles from the glueshot, Garfield shouted at the three new kobolds and charged at them. They all got their glue shots off ineffectively. One hit Garfield square in the center of his armor not doing anything and the other two completely missed. Then Garfield knocked one of them silly with the blunt-side of his new greataxe and kicked another into the pit killing him.

The fight went on for a couple of minutes and the kobolds retreated to the center of the keep. Zack finally got free of the glueshot and got up. Really angry, Zack shouted at his companions to murder the damn kobolds.

The party chased down the kobolds into a makeshift chapel in the room, where the chased seemed content of staying still at the other end of the room. Zack immediately wanted to charge, but not before Aramir stopped him. The eladrin recognized that there may be a trap in the room. Before he can pinpoint where it is however, Cal stepped on a pressure plate which triggered a zooming dart in his direction. Either because of superior reflexes or maybe Avandra just loves the bard so much, he successfully avoided the dart. The kobolds laughed as they slinged more projectiles at Cal which he also succesfully avoided.

Momentarily puzzled, the kobolds ran through the next room over leaving the party alone in a booby-trapped room. Garfield, bravely, prayed to Bahamut and charged through the room setting off as many dart traps as possible. Most of the darts safely hit his full-plate armor with the exception of one. This one dart penetrated Garfield’s hardy dwarven skin in the right arm. Seemingly to follow Garfield’s cue, Zack also put his head down for maximum protection did the same getting hit with two darts. Cal did his best acrobatics bluff and luckily missed every single dart that came on to him. Aramir, on the other hand, just used his command of the feywild magics to teleport to the end of the room without distress. Garfield and Zack groaned at Aramir’s “cheat”. Cal just thought it was cool. After looting an altar to Tiamat that was in the room.

The next room was a peculiar thing. It was a large hall that seemed to be rigged to facilitate a game kobolds play. It seemed to involve two horrible, horrible pits not unlike from the first room before. When the party looked up at the ceiling the saw a sturdy rope hanging twenty feet above them. Tracing the rope to the other end, they saw a kobold holding a green sludge covered ball. With nine other kobolds armed to the teeth.


Season 1, Episode 2: Misadventures in Fallcrest
The calm comedic relief between the hack -and-slash!

Where we last left our heroes, they were rewarded handsomely in the small town of Jatii for their daring rescue of Mr. Coppernight from a insurgent force of kobolds and one ambitious, but now dead, young dragon. At the hint of more of these types of phenomenon happening, the party immediately set out for Fallcrest to do battle with this evil lurking outside towns and villages. All of this was of course, the only course of action a group of Bahamut Patrollers must take as per Bahamut’s teachings.

Killer decided to tag along, seeing the number of riches he had acquired just by hanging out with these pious warriors. And in good faith the eladirin rogue revealed his true, at least more probable, name: Aramir.

The night they stayed in Jatii before the trip, the human cleric Siti and the warforged warlord Book took their leave. For after all, Siti and Book’s task with the dwarven paladin Garfield and dragonborn fighter was finished. To take them to their first mission, and not let themselves get killed. They were to go to Winterhaven to establish a temple of Bahamut at the frontier town.

As they took the monthly Jatii-Fyulata via Winterhaven caravan that night, Siti expressed concern for the continued survival of her former pupils, Book assured them that they’ll be ok as they had the very capable striker rogue with them. That was what Siti was afraid of…

Dawn crept into Jatii as the adventurers crept out. But no amount of fey stealth can avoid the farewell party that was ready to see of “The Heroes of Jatii” out to new adventures.

Zack blushed, Garfield felt guilty for being rewarded so for doing his job while Aramir just basked in the glory..signing a couple of autographs to boot.

Having no other viable means of transportation to go to Fallcrest, they decided to hike it there. This annoyed Aramir. His logic was that they were heroes of Jatii, therefore they were entitled to anything Jatii got. Sadly, this was not so.

Garfield mentioned that the gold they found and was rewarded with was reward enough. Aramir bit back by saying that Garfield got that sweet armor from the stronghold while he got nothing.

This bickering just serves to annoy Zack until the point he had to breathe fire onto Garfield and Aramir to shut them up. And they did…for two minutes. Zack just rolled his eyes and blazed the path.

Eventually thanks to Garfield and Aramir’s bickering they arrived at the gates of Fallcrest, three days behind the normal travel time. The sight of a bustling small town seemed to invigorate the group and all their spirits went up. They even bought a map of Fallcrest for 5 silver pieces (sp) from a boy who seemed pleased after the sale at the gates of Fallcrest.

Using the map they located Nethir Inn, rented two twin bed Nethir-river-view rooms at the local inn and unpacked their belongings. Aramir bunked with Zack while Garfield had his own room to himself. Aramir thought that he could talk Zack into hating Garfield too this way. Garfield was kind of sensing this might be the reason Aramir wanted to bunk with Zack, but thought nothing of it as he got lost admiring the Nethir River at night.

Taking their new found wealth, they immediately went to the largest emporium of weaponry and armor in Fallcrest: House Azaer.

House Azaer proved as much a spectacle as it was an arms emporium. Hundreds of weapons laid out in the most attractive way possible and dozens of armor put on mannequins in action poses whetting the appetite of the visiting warrior customers for battle.

This temptation is not lost on Zack as he went to the glass display showing off the newest great axe model House Azaer had. The literature on the glass mentioned of critically wounding your enemies more with more flavor text. Zack read the text with wonder calling Garfield to read too.

Aramir on the other hand was considering trading in his hand crossbow for a longbow. And with the nudge of the halfling sales girl he did just that. Only to find in the firing range that a longbow was clumsy to fire and not compliment his charismatic fighting style. He immediately went for a refund but was turned down. After stirring up a commotion on the store floor the best way Aramir does, a tiefling woman descended the stairs to the trading floor and reprimanded Aramir.

He whined some more and got burned by the tiefling’s arcane magic. She said that no one complains about House Azaer policies as long as Amara, obviously the young tiefling’s name her name is here. Aramir backed down as he bought a crossbow while keeping the longbow too.

Garfield and Zack laughed at this predicament and proceeded to buy matching greataxes. Too calm Amara, the emporium owner down, Garfield asked her where was the best street-side food they can find. Amara pointed them to a stall selling meatsticks in front of the local temple of Avandra as just that place. They proceeded to go there.

As they were eating their delicious meatsticks, they were called on by a cheery half-elf person. He immediately introduced himself as Cal, and he immediately identified the groups as adventurers.

Initially the group was miffed by the interruption of their delicious lunch. Even as the half-elf bragged about his bardic knowledge and songwriting prowess. He even egged the adventurers about a new place to explore: Kobold Hall. The adventurers only turned their heads as he flatly offered to pay for their meatsticks. When they said an empathic yes, the bard turned cheery again.

Kobold Hall was infested with the titular monsters, Cal the bard explained the rumors floating around the Fallcrest bardic circles and performing troupes. He also explained that he’s been looking to write a ballad about a group of adventurers bravely vanquishing a dragon. His logic was that where there’s organized kobolds, there’s a dragon.

Aramir said nonchalantly that he already slayed a dragon already and told Cal to write a ballad about that. Cal countered with the fact that he wanted to be there as it happened. The best songs are from personal experience he explained.

Garfield said that Cal can come, but told him to stay in the back when the fighting starts. They don’t need a nonsensical poetic nuisance while they are concentrating on fighting monsters. Cal nodded enthusiastically, while Aramir rolled his eyes. Zack was just happy that there was more backup and finished his meatstick with a final bite breaking the stick in half with his dragon teeth.

Cal bunked with Garfield that night and in the morning they left Fallcrest for Kobold Hall.

Four days later, they arrived. Aramir offered to scout the abandoned manor now known as Kobold Hall to assess the threat. What he saw was horrifying, dozens of corpses being skinned with their former equipment being laid to the side. Kobolds playing a kicking game with skulls of former adventurers. And other kobolds praying to a dragon statue he can’t recognize…

Will our beloved adventurers survive the next gambit of obstacles to remove whatever threat is in the manor?! Will they get skinned and disemboweled and be the next ball in the kobold’s sick racial pastime? Or will the adventurers play baseball with the kobold’s bones and skulls instead?

Tune in next time to…

The Planehoppers!!!

Season 1, Episode 1: Stumbling into Adventure
Everything must have a beginning...

A group of rookie Bahamut’s Patrollers (BPs) gets called by the dwarven mayor of Jatii to investigate the disappearance of a certain Mr. Copppernight, a determined dwarven prospector eager to transform a keep outside Jatii into a bustling Dwarven community. At least until he vanished with out a report.

The rookie BPs: Garfield, the Dwarven Paladin and Zack, the Dragonborn Fighter immediately went too investigate. They were accompanied by Siti, a Human Cleric of Bahamut and Book, a Warforged programmed to give intelligent instructions in battle as per Bahamut’s teachings of combat. On the way to the keep they meet with an Eladrin Rogue who mysteriously introduced himself as “Killer”.

While Garfield had reservations on having a dude named “Killer” in the party, Book pointed out that Killer’s killer instincts may prove useful in the investigation, should the venture turn violent. As these ventures tend to degenerate to.

When they reached the keep, they found it to be abandoned. Although a bunch of little reptilian creatures were found running towards a hill on the keep’s backlot. Siti correctly asserted that whatever threat is going on in this area must be holed up in the hill. Book recalled a text from the books back in the library back in Duban that the Dwarves were adept into building underground strongholds, and it concurred.

While Garfield and Zack was prepared to storm the hill to eliminate the threat with Bahamut’s vengeance laced with martial might. Killer stopped them and pointed out that it’d be better if he scouted the hill first.

After Killer slinked out and in the woods surrounding the hill, he gave his opinion. There was a bunch of bored looking kobolds being harassed by two bigger more agile kobolds with slingers. They look like they are staging an assault. From the bits of pieces of stray Draconic Killer sort of understood, it seemed like the kobold were going to try and overrun the village of Jatii. But the kobold’s were no problem for the current party to subdue he assessed.

So the party sneaked up to the hill when it was dark and proceed to take advantageous position behind a 10 feet-high wooden fence as per Book’s instructions.

On Garfield’s signal the party assaults the hill. Zack climbed up the fence with ease and breathed fire on the kobolds eliminating half the troops on the hill. The fight was a cakewalk afterwards. Siti blessed, Book gave instructions, Garfield bludgeoned, Killer back-stabbed and Zack decapitated. The hill was cleared in a mere 30 seconds.

As they were taking a short rest after the brutal half-minute, Zack heard some indistinct kobold voices chattering about inside a rather deep pit in the middle of the hill. The party decides to descend to the pit to investigate further.

Zack, Book and Killer traversed the rope ladder safely down the pit. But unfortunately the rope ladder snapped as the heavily armored Garfield and Siti was traversing at the same time. They landed quite harshly with Garfield breaking Siti’s fall.

Momentarily stuck underground, the party lit a couple of sunrods and explored the cavern. After quite some time they reached a hall of dwarven heroes Coppernight had built. At this point though, it had been vandalized by the nefarious kobolds.

The kobolds guarding one particular statue attacked on sight. With them was a wyrmpriest, hinting at the possibility that there might be something more to this than previously thought.

With the audience of chained dwarf prisoners, the party ousted the resistance after a long and hard fight. Relations between Garfield and Killer worsened as there was an unfortunate incident in which Garfield accidently struck Killer with his warhammer as Garfield was trying to attack a prone Kobold skirmisher. What Garfield didn’t know the skirmisher was on top of a tapestry which hid Killer underneath…

With gritted teeth, Killer picked the lock of the prisoners and they showed them a secure secret bunker within the hold in which they can get an extended rest.

In the bunker, Garfield and Killer traded barbs of words between each other as Siti tried to mediate. Book, not understanding sentient grudge holding and bitterness just did his best to stand guard as he deactivated to stand-by mode.

The party woke up to an angry Draconic rant heart through out the keep. In general, the voice was angry at the kobolds for their incompetence in guarding the hold from the invaders. Zack identified the voice as probably coming from a Dragon, albeit young. Killer, exited at the prospect at slaying a dragon, immediately led the expedition to find this dragon lair and straight up slit the dragon’s throat.

Eventually, they found the lair after a walking over a bunch of resistance and a s it turns out the dragon was only a mere wyrmling. A white dragon wyrmling to be exact, protected by a legion of kobolds. Killer took the initiative and teleported behind one of the kobold lieutenants and back-stabbed him. The rest of the party sprang into action after this cold kill.

The dragon proved a tough costumer. But thankfully there was an enchanted bear-skin rug that seemed to empower Garfield’s attack and defenses, the rug seems to favor dwarven victory for some reason. And by focusing the stand on the rug, the wyrmling was eventually slain.

As the party was scooping up the dragons modest horde, they heared a brogue-laden shout calling for the adventurers. The party found the source of the noise in a secret room behind the wyrmling’s makeshift throne. Behind this throne, they found none other that Mr. Coppernight!

Long story short, the dragon assaulted them while they were working on the stronghold and that’s how they were held prisoner. It’s been three weeks since this happened and they were kept alive by the barest of sustenance. He also explained that the bear-skin rug was enchanted to empower Dwarfs if the stronghold was attacked. He stood there for a full 30 minutes before he was knocked out by the dead wyrmling’s claws.

Mr. Coppernight proved thankful…and wealthy! Besides the experience they got, they also gained a substantial amount of gold pieces and magical items. One of them was an armor perfect fit for Garfield. It was black and seemed studier than his previous plate armor.

The mayor later informed the adventurers that there is similar kidnappings of prospectors in Fallcrest…

Are these kidnappings related? Is there something bigger than expected pulling the strings? Tune in next time to…

The Planehoppers!!!


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