The Planehoppers

Season 1, Episode 3: Damn Kobolds!

Don't read if you are a kobold...or if you are a kobold sympathizers

Where we last left your favorite Bahamut’s Patrollers, they were about to assault a decrepit hall unflatteringly named Kobold Hall. They were going to do this because there might be a kobold strike force intending evil on the nearby town of Fallcrest…and maybe an oppurtunity to take down another evil dragon.

So Aramir reported back to the camp dwarven paladin Garfield, dragonborn fighter Zack and half-elf bard Cal was resting. As he reported the intellgence he had acqired from the scouting, Garfield and Zack paid attention in determination. Cal on the other hand was playing around with his lute trying to find a new tune. The eladrin rogue wasn’t impressed with Cal so he turned the tuning machine on the lute violently so the pitch Cal was playing changed from a bright C to a dissonant quarterstep deviant A#. Cal shouted in protest but fell on deaf ears.

After the report was made, the group agreed it would strike on the break of dawn to attain a decent degree of surprise. While it was a good plan, it had one flaw…They all slept past dawn.

Nonetheless, they were pretty annoyed with each others than themselves but proceeded with the assault anyway. Garfield, the paladin, insisted they come in through the front door while Aramir, the rogue, insisted on the back. Before any significant and noisy fighting can occur outside the structure they were allegedly going to take down, Cal took out a coin and told them to call it in the air. Garfield won to Aramir’s annoyance.

Not to soon after the coin landed, Zack kicked down the door and ran into the first room followed by the others. They found one lone kobold who looked confident with himself. Zack growled and ran straight for the kobold with the intention of decapitating his sorry head. But out of nowhere a shot from a previously closed door got Zack in the left ankle sticking it to the right one. Cal immidiately shouted warning that there was another kobold with glueshots in his sling.

Zack, off-balanced, almost fell down to a pit of green sludge but instead only was knocked prone by the side of it. This pit was 10-feet-deep and looked acidic with sickening green pain waiting for anyone with the unfortunate luck of splashing into it.

Aramir immediately drew his longbow and shot at the kobold slinger. When the arrow hit it’s target three more kobolds appear from another previously closed room. The lone kobold from before smirked as he took a dagger to Zack trying to penetrate his scale mail.

As the kobold did this, Cal took out his lute and tried using his arcane music to support the party but instead got a horrible dissonant strain that confused the enemy! Turns out Cal never retuned his lute after Aramir had messed with it. The dissonant quarterstep deviant A#, horrible C and clear E notes knotted the kobold’s thinking and it allowed Zack to push him off into the acidic pit, eliminating the kobold.

While Zack tried to untangle his ankles from the glueshot, Garfield shouted at the three new kobolds and charged at them. They all got their glue shots off ineffectively. One hit Garfield square in the center of his armor not doing anything and the other two completely missed. Then Garfield knocked one of them silly with the blunt-side of his new greataxe and kicked another into the pit killing him.

The fight went on for a couple of minutes and the kobolds retreated to the center of the keep. Zack finally got free of the glueshot and got up. Really angry, Zack shouted at his companions to murder the damn kobolds.

The party chased down the kobolds into a makeshift chapel in the room, where the chased seemed content of staying still at the other end of the room. Zack immediately wanted to charge, but not before Aramir stopped him. The eladrin recognized that there may be a trap in the room. Before he can pinpoint where it is however, Cal stepped on a pressure plate which triggered a zooming dart in his direction. Either because of superior reflexes or maybe Avandra just loves the bard so much, he successfully avoided the dart. The kobolds laughed as they slinged more projectiles at Cal which he also succesfully avoided.

Momentarily puzzled, the kobolds ran through the next room over leaving the party alone in a booby-trapped room. Garfield, bravely, prayed to Bahamut and charged through the room setting off as many dart traps as possible. Most of the darts safely hit his full-plate armor with the exception of one. This one dart penetrated Garfield’s hardy dwarven skin in the right arm. Seemingly to follow Garfield’s cue, Zack also put his head down for maximum protection did the same getting hit with two darts. Cal did his best acrobatics bluff and luckily missed every single dart that came on to him. Aramir, on the other hand, just used his command of the feywild magics to teleport to the end of the room without distress. Garfield and Zack groaned at Aramir’s “cheat”. Cal just thought it was cool. After looting an altar to Tiamat that was in the room.

The next room was a peculiar thing. It was a large hall that seemed to be rigged to facilitate a game kobolds play. It seemed to involve two horrible, horrible pits not unlike from the first room before. When the party looked up at the ceiling the saw a sturdy rope hanging twenty feet above them. Tracing the rope to the other end, they saw a kobold holding a green sludge covered ball. With nine other kobolds armed to the teeth.

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